Love is the foundation of any relationship. It’s especially unique and deeper when it comes to marriage. A good foundation of friendship and genuine love will go a long way in the success of any marriage. A friendship that is unselfish and grows with time. A friendship that hopes to bring out the best in the other person.
True love is amazing and goes beyond a physical or emotional feeling. True love takes time, work, understanding and commitment. It grows over time and is multidirectional.
True love goes beyond physical love. It’s usually confused with lust and infatuation which is shallow and selfish.
Infatuation is when someone is blindly in love. The person concerned is willing to break every rule and do anything to get what they want. Infatuation lacks good judgment, does not last long and usually leaves bad memories behind.
Lust is not love, it’s a physical attraction, a strong desire to get something no matter the cost. It does not have the interest of the other parties concerned in mind.
Infatuation and lust lacks good judgment, not willing to sacrifice but rather desiring to get something regardless of the cost.
True love is willing to encourage and empower their partner, knowing that as they grow in the love and knowledge of the Lord that their journey will be strengthened as a cord of three with Christ in the center.
Understanding True Love for Teens and Young Adults
The story in the Bible of Amnon, one of David’s sons and Tamar his half sister is an example of lust, the dangers and consequences that comes with it. 2 Samuel 13:1-22. Amnon was so obsessed with his half sister, Tamar so strongly, he crafted a plan to get a chance to be alone with Tamar and raped her. Amnon’s love for Tamar turned out to be a shallow one and quickly turned to hate after the unfortunate event.
Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her. 2 Sam 13:15
True love knows that no matter what, life is precious and worth living to the fullest because God has ordained our steps and already has a plan for everyone.
The story of Jacob and Rachel, on the other hand, is an example of true love. Genesis 29:15-30. Jacob was working for Laban, Rachel’s father when he met Rachel. Jacob loved Rachel and made his intent known to Rachel’s after. Laban requested that Jacob work for him for seven years in order to marry Rachel and he did.
Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father, “I’ll work for you for seven years if you’ll give me Rachel, your younger daughter, as my wife.” Genesis 29:18
After seven years, the father gave Leah to Jacob as wife. Jacob was not happy and worked another seven years to be able to marry Rachel. In all, Jacob worked and waited for Rachel for 14 years. True love is patient and willing to wait.
God tells us exactly what true love is and we’ve heard it so much, we tend to nod in agreement and move on past it.
The Bible is clear, every word is intentional.
In 1 Corinthians 13, the Bible gave us a clear guide to decide when love is true and genuine:
● Love is Patient – when you are living with your true love, just like when you live with your parents, you will need patience. True love works through issues without complaining, deals with suffering or annoying requests without getting angry.
● Love Is Kind – true love is gentle and compassionate. It shares in your sorrows and celebrates in your joy. It cares about all things…big and small.
● Love Does not Envy – True love is happy and content right in the moment regardless of what possessions you may or may not have.
● Love Does Not Boast – true love knows that no one is perfect and everyone will make mistakes. True love is willing to admit the mistakes and forgives.
● Love is Not Arrogant – When someone truly loves you they will not shame you as they build themself up. They will lift you up, honor you and respect you
● Love is not Rude – True love is considerate and thoughtful about the object of their affection.
● Love does not insist on its own way – true love is deep, calm and desires to flow freely and will not insist on one path or one way.
● Love is not irritable – true love doesn’t have a short fuse and blows up at the smallest of requests. Love takes great pleasure in doing, helping and being there when needed.
● Love is Not Resentful – True love will work through issues and then forgive. It doesn’t hold grudges or brings up past mistakes time after time.
● Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing – true love does the right thing, celebrates things that are good and right.
● Love rejoices with the truth – True love is an honest life, living in truth while shining the light and love of the Lord for others to see.
● Love Bears all things – True love will work through the most difficult issue and come out stronger than ever. True love tackles things that life throws at you, bearing the burdens, protecting and allowing you to live knowing that you are safe in this love.
● Love Believes all things – True love trusts the good in you, loves the abilities and inner strength God has put in you and recognizes the talents and gifts that God gives to you as you serve Him together.
● Love Hopes All things – Love truly does look for the good, finds the good and sees the good in every bit of you. The future is bright as you serve the Lord hand in hand with true love.
● Love endures all things – True love, for better or worse, in sickness and health, in poverty and wealth truly does endures all things.
True love is powerful and knowing this will allow you to realize that it is not an easy…one time thing, but an action that is repeated day in and day out as you serve the Lord together as one body doing what He has called you to do.
True love is an extraordinary thing that is treasured by many. As Christians, we are called to love like God which means that we are to love someone just as they are, while they are growing and learning and becoming the amazing person that the Lord has fashioned them to be.
His unconditional love allows us to love our mates as well as the homeless man on the street. While it’s a totally different kind of love, it’s still the unconditional love of the Lord that we are showing.
True love, everlasting love from the Lord of Lords, King of Kings is ours and that love is what we must strive to model when we are understanding true love.
We understand love better each day as we experience God in our daily activities. Our imperfection reminds us to be forgiving to others, our weakness reminds us to learn to accommodate others weaknesses and not judge them. Our strength reminds us to lend a helping hand to others, empower the other and give grace as we grow together in love.
Are you in a relationship or considering going into one? Carefully consider these qualities and attributes of true love if you have them and look out for them in your intended partner. We are all work in progress, the willingness to put in the work to be better than we were yesterday makes a lot of difference.
Marriage is successful where there is true love. Not because one person is good or perfect but that they are willing to put in the work to bring out the best in one another.
